Apparently I am not Superwoman.
This fact may be patently obvious to everybody else but seems to always come as a huge surprise and total disappointment to me.
Take today for example. Today I finally asked my mum to have mouse for the day so I could ‘get on with stuff’. Aaaah, hello the killer ‘stuff’ word.
I had visions of how today would go, what I would achieve in those lovely long, empty 6 hours I had without him. SIX WHOLE HOURS! Surely I can get all the ‘stuff’ done in that time?
Here’s what I had planned. And by planned I mean here’s what was loosely swilling around in my head as needing doing for several weeks up until today because of course I hadn’t done anything as useful or sensible as actually write a list or plan out my time:
- Tidy the house (have you seen my house? I said 6 HOURS not weeks)
- Empty the laundry basket (see above caveat)
- Sleep (can’t I just do that for the whole 6 hours!?)
- Get ahead with writing content because the rest of the week is looking busy as hell
- Tinker with my website
- By some nice new stationery and a huge blank pad to brainstorm and scribble ideas all over
- Go for a swim/walk/Jacuzzi/yoga/move in some way
- Make several phone calls I need to make but keep not making
- Cook something wonderfully nutritious for dinner
- Wash my hair
- Have my nails done
- Achieve world peace
Guess what? Prepare for the huge shocker…I haven’t managed all of this. So how have I spent my ‘day off’ feeling? Relaxed? In control? Calm? Accomplished?
Nope again. Rushed, stressed, panicked and irritated would be closer to it.
So about an hour ago I gave myself a time out, sat quietly with a cup of chamomile and lavender tea, a bit of chocolate and a candle and decided to re-shape what remained of my day and reframe what had been of it so far. The fog lifted.
I may not have achieved the impossibly large list above, but here’s what I have achieved today.
- I have done some writing. Not as much as I wanted, but I wanted too much
- I have eaten healthily and calmly rather than grab and stuff in whatever. I’ll worry about dinner later. Better yet I’ll delegate that to my husband.
- I have had a nap (I thought 1 hour would suffice)
- I have expressed more milk so I can pack mouse off again another day
- I have set a timer on this last bit of my work to give myself enough time to move my body and reframe my brain before mouse gets home
- I have forgiven myself for not being superwoman and promised myself to not have such stupidly high expectations in future
- I have made peace with all of the above
- And I have made a mental note to make sure my to do list next time looks more like this:
- Work well
- Eat well
- Move well
Ding ding time’s up, my yoga mat is calling.